Holidays are certainly joyous

And I enjoyed my winter holiday (to Long Island, then Georgia, and topped off in New Hampshire) very much. Too much perhaps if we're talking about my waistline. I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted it, and it resulted in a significant expansion of my waistline. Up to 196lbs.

So like other friends and family members around me. While Christmas passes, I am determined to keep up that "Tis' the season" attitude. Though, as the holiday season is passing, I have found myself stepping into another.

Tis' this season to join Weight Watchers.

Yes that's right folks. Weight Watchers. Despite all my protestations in earlier blogs (all 3 of them) that I need not set foot in a meeting, I joined up. And last Monday night, with 30 other people, embarked on that cattle-drive known as Momentum. Gotta love marketing companies and their fancy slogans.

Momentum. I've had it this week. I've counted and tracked and made "better" decisions. Discussed point options with my partner and written down point(s)-per-serving size portions in her recipe books. I've exercised at 5:45am (Preface: I never get up before 7am if I don't have to), chosen to walk through unshoveled snowstorm-wracked streets to my fiancee's birthday brunch (where I ordered a veggie omelet- that I extracted a lot of cheese from, demanded no toast, then barely touched the homefries), and been excited about shoveling my driveway post-brunch.

And now I'm scared.

Scared that tomorrow the scale will fail me. That I'll fail myself. That the momentum of this week won't translate into weight loss.

This is why I didn't want to sign-up for a meeting. Because if I walk in there and it's not on the scale, I've failed. Done something wrong. And I'm accountable. To the scale. To the person weighing me in. To the leader. To every other first week person I met last Monday. To the room full of WWers trying to lose weight with Momentum.

So tomorrow, I have to promise to eat as usual. I know starving doesn't help anyone. But, I know I'll want to close my eyes when I step on that scale. At 7pm, cross your fingers and hope that it doesn't berate me with bad numbers- I've been enjoying this momentum.