Hold on tight cuz it's gonna be wilder than any 8 second ride...

Week 1 Challenge over and complete! For those who have no clue what I'm referencing, on WW.com this week I joined the 30-minute challenge. The premise: exercise at-least 30minutes every day. Done. 7 days in a row: 4 runs, 2 circuit training sessions, and 1 WATP + weights session. I've also taken the dog for walks and soccer sessions all week (but haven't counted those minutes because they feel like every day, not exercise).

And I feel great.

Really, I do. No aches and pains (although I can feel my worked muscles). No exhaustion (though by this time at night this week I've been ready for bed). No annoyance or frustration. I'm just uber proud of myself. I earned 28 activity points this week. WW would LOVE people to earn 24. I challenged myself. I made a promise and kept it.

It's also encouraged me to track opints and my eating habits. I've needed to balance my food intake and take into account timing, type (carbs vs protein). It's resulted in a very even-keeled week even with Fri night take-out and Sat night dinner-out.

So, we'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I went up 3lbs last week and I'm damn sure I've taken some of that off this week. Yes, my motivation this week was to beat the scale. To kick WW behind. To prove that I can.

I have 4 weeks until my first wedding dress fitting. I have 12 weeks until my wedding. And I want to be done with weekly WW weigh-ins by then. So, I've weight to lose and weights to lift. And I'm going to do it one day and one challenge at a time.

So for next week? Challenge 30-mins a day to be continued. Starting with tomorrow's run in the am. So off to bed now :)

Temporary reprieve?

I ate an egg this morning. In fact, I craved an egg this morning. Heading downstairs for a treadmill run I passed Heather cooking up her breakfast. It smelt and looked lovely- egg- yum. So, post run I fixed a hearty breakfast of potato + egg with a side of soysage. I felt okay while eating it though conscious of the texture. And a little nauseous immediately after (though that may have been because I ate too quickly). But now I'm fine.

So, finished Day 5 in a row of workouts. Hell yeah. WW I am definitely kicking your behind this week. And my own.

Ok...time to work. I totally wish I worked a 4-day week. By Friday I have no motivation to do aught but play :)

Rainy mornings

Rainy mornings with 10am starts at work are my favorite especially when my lil' shepherd pupy is sleepy. This morning it's pouring outside. I overslept til 7am and now am sitting drinking coffee in bed. I'll then don my heavy rain gear and walk the pup (who is sleeping on the end of the bed as I type) before coming back in to tackle a C25k run. I'll stil be able to shower, prep breakfast and get to work by 10am.

Love it: sleeping in, hand delivered coffee and chill time, workout, and food. What coudl be better?

Food...combination?

The most awkward food combinations occur at 9:30pm when you're on WW, have had to miss dinner to due some unforeseen circumstance (your tire blows up, you lock your keys to the car in the office, you are beset by a random shopping spree...or you just are working late again and forget to pack your dinner soup), and you have 7points to eat. Like me, tonight.

5 Morningstar Buffalo wings + 1/2 bagel= 7 point I-shouldn't-be-eating-this-late dinner.

Quick and plentiful. Fabulous. Also foods I would normally avoid on program because of the high point content per low volume of food. Perfect solution. I am not, however, going to bed sexy. Oh no... because no amount of teeth brushing is going to rid me of hte buffalo-everything bagel-garlic-onion combo that's going on. But hell, it's a weeknight, I have to get up early, and I'm damn tired. Who cares?

PS. WW, I kicked your point-recording behind today. Go me. :)
PPS. I busted my point-recording behind circuit training this morning. Go me x2. :)

Weigh-in was horrendous... but I wasn't

Missed 2 weeks of Weight Watchers but returned tonight dutifully to weigh-in. Let's just say it was terrible and I wanted to cry. I've been up and down since October and while, over the long-term, I'm staying at a stable weight, in the moment sometimes it feels horrible.

Especially because:
1. I've been running
2. We went hiking this weekend for 2 hours
3. I also did over 2 hours of xc-skiing this weekend
4. I ran this morning

But I know there have been some flaws. I'm eating too much processed, sodium-filled food. I'm not drinking enough water. I'm saving too many points for evenings (just under 1/2 my allotted daily intake) and weekends.

But I didn't cry. And, when I went to the grocery store directly after meeting to do the week's shopping, I didn't buy chocolate or cake. Even better, it didn't cross my mind to do so. I just thought- that's it. It's time to do it right: track, eat filling foods, cut out the seltzer + diet coke, and exercise.

So, weigh-in was horrendous, but I wasn't. I came home and made a healthy dinner. Have packed all my meals and snacks for tomorrow, counted the points, and am ready to go (with 3 points to flex as a safety).

Bring it on WW.

What comes first: the chicken or the vegetarian?

I am having my first vegetarian crisis.

No. I'm not jonesing for a juicy black and blue burger, cooked to medium pink perfection. And while memories of sizzlin' summer bbq still tickle my cilia, I do not wish to tear off strips from smoked baby-back ribs. I'm not desirous of bangers and mash...or chips. No want for thinly sliced steak n' cheese.

No, I'm not falling off the veggie wagon. Rather, I feel that I'm becoming a leading member of the caravan.

It started last fall around September. All summer long I enjoyed shrimp and scallops. Grilled and served straight up. Sauteed in garlic and olive oil. Boiled in spicy jambalaya. Stuffed in plump ravioli. I enjoyed these sea creatures all summer long. No pain. No guilt. Just low-point protein satisfaction. And then the fall came and on a trip to Vermont for work I visited a local restaurant renowned for it's fine seafood. I ordered a shrimp and scallop pasta and was delighted to be served a large bowl with jumbo shrimp and golf-ball sized scallops. I dug in with gusto, but retreated after 1 shrimp and 1 scallop. I thought perhaps they were too large. Too meaty. I was confused. I blamed it on root vegetable season and hibernation.

Not to be foiled, when my mother visited in early November I signed up for another shrimp pasta. Ravioli. And what do you know, when ground and spiced, mixed with ricotta and hidden in ravioli, shrimp is unidentifiable. I made it through the dish.

Heartened, I determined to take on shrimp again at Thanksgiving. Shrimp ring appetizer with cocktail sauce. I dove in, grabbed a mini-shrimp smaller than the first nub of my pinkie finger and popped it in my mouth

I regretted it immediately, dove for my wine glass, and washed away the nausea with a good swig of Cabernet sauvignon. I haven't touched a tail since. Or a scallop.

I've been okay with my lack of seafood until now. Until this week.

This week, when siting down to eat breakfast- potatoes and egg (over-easy) I found myself thinking of baby chickens. Baby chickens. And me about to dig into a perfectly over-easy egg yolk. Being the staunch Brit I am, I dug in, chewed and willed myself not to think about fluffy yellow baby chickens. I made it through the egg.

This past Monday I found myself once again at the mercy of baby chicken imagery when offered a baked egg for breakfast by a dear friend (and Fine Cooking aficionado). Again, my staunch British side (and well-bred politeness) led me to close my eyes, swallow and....enjoy-ish. Thankfully they were hard-baked, and so reminded my less of baby chickens. This morning, as I pondered what to eat post-run for breakfast I once again was stuck in baby chicken mode.

So I had baked potato and baked beans. Not potato and egg. I ate supper for breakfast.

I'm not sure what's going on. I didn't become vegetarian because I'm an animal-loving softie. I like leather bags and shoes. I love cheese and milk. I love[d?] eggs. I became vegetarian nearly 3 years ago purely for reasons of health and ease post-cancer and new girlfriend (a veggie of 10+years who LOVES to cook). No other reason. So I'm having trouble understanding my recent distaste for seafood and eggs AND the live-animal imagery that is plaguing me when I try to eat either.

So what comes first: the chicken or the vegetarian? [Sadly?] in this case I think it's both. The chicken gets to have it's egg and the vegetarian, well, she gets to enjoy tofu-scrambles.

Where to start?

I'm home alone (an unusual situation for my current living situation) and enjoying a bach (aka "bachelor") night. Thus far "bach night" has consisted of shopping for 2hours (H&M I love you), a Purple Cactus tofu teryiaki wrap, red wine, and half a Mike's chocolate mousse cannoli (yum). I've also been watching Sex and the City for 90minutes now. I promise, this is a great bach night for me. I've been desperate for a night alone.

But, it's been interesting noting my thoughts/emotions throughout today and tonight.

Today was difficult. I was hungry, so I ate. I enjoyed everything I ate, but felt very non-WW. Non-points and a little guilty. Not great.

Then I went shipping. I drove from work in the burbs to downtown. Found parking and then found H&M. And then spent 1 hour and 45minutes shopping. Hurrah H&M. I felt sexy before I tried on anything and then, as I tried on dress after dress and shirt after shirt, I just felt sexier. I don't know if it was the decreasing number on the tag or my ass in the 3-way mirrors but man... it was good. But it made me realise that despite a difficult day eating: 1) I am doing well at WW, 2) I am 80lbs lighter than I was in 2004, 3) I am the same size I was in high school, 4) I can run better than I did in high school, 5) I'm beautiful (thank you Heather...and Peggy...for reminding me this week).

Still, after 5 episodes of Sex in the City including episodes concerning self-esteem/body image, sex, smoking (cigarettes), I feel myself identifying with lots of parts of the show. Between the (current) self-doubts and the (past) smoking addiction I wonder about my journey. Granted, it is a journey and I am riding it. Most days I'm positive, but I feel like I've set myself up. I want to be a certain weight/size by April. The wedding is in May and now, though I started WW in 2005, ended in 2006 and began again in 2009, and am 80lbs lighter, my journey feels different now. There's a deadline. A dress. A honeymoon in Paris. Should I be sexier? Thinner? Seems so as I've set myself up for that end- to reach my initial goal weight by the end of April 2010. And I wonder if I'm setting myself up by wanting this deadline.

I'm not sure how I think about this but I'm working through it. I'm running a race in March (5k/3.2miler) and then another in April (5miler). After that I'm not sure. But, I need to run and also ad on some yoga or zumba classes... something that's fun, exercise and social.

PS- though I'm enjoying the Jo-night, I ran into a friend earlier this evening who mentioned she was hanging out with 2 other friends tonight for dinner. I felt left out. Silly huh? But then I texted another friend about if she was in-state or out-of-state tonight and no response. So I wonder how much work I need to do...with myself so that I don't revert to negative behaviors when I'm alone, and with my friends so I'm more integrated. I've always wanted to be the person up for a coffee or dinner or a drink...and that was reached out to as much as I reach out. I need to work on that, for me.