Weighing in

Headed back to WW for first time since January...

Waiting in line to weigh-in and am nervous. It takes a lot to admit that I'm not perfect and that I needed to hide for awhile. But, with my first race of the season complete (ran the Ras 5k yesterday in Somerville with only 2 training runs under of my belt since my injury-not by choice but by chance) I'm feeling more calm about re-starting this marathon called weight loss.

This weekends was a good reminder that I can push my mind and my body. And, that can be successful and feel good on doing so. Will weigh-in here later about how I'm doing over this week.

One stride at a time...

Well, another week is passing by. My first week on PointsPlus totally rocked. I excitedly tracked and exercised all week and, even after enjoying two munchy nights out with friends (beer and wine included), I lost 4.8lbs! What a jump start!

This week has been a lot slower. I'm still tracking although the initial excitement has waned slightly. I think that mostly has to do with stress at work. We're in our year end and the recession is finally hitting us for the first time in two years. And, as a program manager, I am stressed out.

As a result, the work schedule has also been a little wacky this week, which has negatively affected exercise. So far I only have 2 workouts in; although I have planned in bicycling for Saturday + Sunday + Monday along with some weights. Today I did "The Shred" and had my butt whupped! I'm also going to take the dog out later on today for a walk at the Arboretum which will be nice.

I received my MRI results this week. While I have no tears or fractures, the posterior side of my right knee is showing some cartilage degeneration and resulting chronic inflammation. I've been told no more running for at least 2 months, which puts me well though January. And even then it's dependent on inflammation coming down. So the only intervals I can do are either walking or on the bike. I'm not really supposed to be doing jump rope or jumping jacks either (anything that puts more impact on the knee, so I'm modifying The Shred aerobic workout sections a bit).

It's mixed news. I'm disappointed about the running. I did some walk/jog intervals over the past two weeks and was excited to be back on the path to running again. But, I'm glad it's not a surgical issue. And with continuing PT, regular icing, glucosame and vitamin D3, I'll be on the mend. Guess I'll put my sights forward to a 2011 bike race instead. Any recommendations?

On a different note, I had a breakthrough this morning in my thinking about food. My partner and I are having her two sisters over tonight. Originally I thought that we were going to cook tonight, but she had it in mind that we were carrying on a Fri night Chinese food tradition. I agreed that Chinese food was fine yesterday, but this morning I began to panick. We had a night out on Wednesday with wine and cheese, I had a Board meeting with desserts and wine last night, and Saturday we have friends coming into town and we're heading out for dinner at a local Mediterranean place (again, with wine). Now, I could not drink the wine, I know. But it's one of the things that I really enjoy. Saturday there will be no dessert as this restaurant has better entrees than desserts. Still, all I could think was, "I've not been exercising, I've been eating out, and now Chinese food?!" And then I thought, "I don't have to have it." Which is a little sad but empowering. And then I realised, "I can still have some steamed veggie dumplings." Which is awesome and empowering! They are my favorite Chinese food item and one is 1 PointsPlus. So 6 steamed veggie dumplings (6pts) + 1 cup of my roasted vegetable + tofu curry (4pts) will make up my very satisfying and happy 10 PointsPlus dinner! I can take or leave the lo mein/fried rice so that's no worry and will just have to be mindful to avoid the scallion pancakes (which I also love, but one 2.25 oz pancake is 7PointsPlus!!!)

So I have a plan and I feel very happy with myself for this mental enlightenment and behavioral compromise. Hurrah! And Saturday, I'll just be mindful all day, exercise and then enjoy dinner out. And, Sunday I'll do the same AND cook a vegetable rich dinner to be enjoyed in.

So watch this space to see how the PointsPlus Week 2 weigh-in goes on Monday!

Catching up.

Phew. How time has flown by although it feels like life went on hold for a little while there. Though I'm sure that's because my head, heart, and hands were held hostage by my (now) wife and my wedding.

The wedding was lovely and after we scurried away to Paris for 10 days before returning to a long weekend in Maine. I'm now (technically) back at work (I'm out ill with an ear infection today and awaiting doctor care) and trying to find an even keel.

Health and wellness went out the window before the wedding. Apart from completing the Marblehead 5k and the occasional run, I was focused only on not gaining more than a pound or two so I could fit in the dress! These women who lose weight before their weddings naturally are an enigma to me. Under stress I eat and drink; no weight lost for me unless under the duress of Weight Watchers.

My WW membership also expired before I went out of town so I have to sign up again. I thought about not doing so and taking the summer off, but after my last 3 days at home I'm convinced that I have a wee bit of a sugar addiction that needs corralling. Subtext: my eating habits are veering on out-of-control and I don't have the willpower to go it alone. So I'm re-upping the membership next Monday night and will be back on the train (I think a good 8lbs heavier than from my last post thanks to wedding cake and Paris). But, as I've mentioned on this site a few times now, this is a process for me. I didn't become overweight overnight and I'm damn sure that I wouldn't be happy with a life in which wedding cake and treats were banned completely. I just need some structure.

It's funny how bulimia continues to rear it's ugly head for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bingeing or purging in the way of my past-self or active bulimia. But, the inability to listen to my body and respond appropriately to hunger or stress or boredome is an eerily familiar situation. My ear is sore, so I ate cake today. I was stressed on Monday, so I had chocolate. I was tired and hungry due to missing a proper dinner last night, so I ate cheese and ice-cream. Not the best choices, but at least I'm identifying that there's a potential problem there. And I'm not too ashamed to admit it and ask for help. Thank you WW and wifey for that.

It's not been all bad. I've been eating blanaced breakfasts and lunches. I've found I love lowfat Greek yoghurt thanks to a Parisian brunch we enjoyed. And, it's rasberry season so I'm ready to enjoy lots of sweet fruit + tangy yoghurt treats.

I did lift on Monday and ran today. My mini-Me practically jumped off my screen when recording my mileage; it's been so long she was perfecting paddleball. It was slow going after 3 weeks off, but I'm starting at least. (Though the 7.5 miler is next Sunday and I may have to run-walk it, which is disappointing). Talking about races, here's where it stands now:

Completed:
March 14, Somerville Ras 5k
April 11, Doyles 5 miler
May 15, Marblehead Beach to Beach 5k: I broke the 10min/mile record with a 9:54 avg pace!!!

Upcoming:
June 27, New Charles River Run 7.5 miler
Aug 15, Alvin Sproul Samoset 10k
Sept 16, Somerville Mardis Gras 4.2miler
Sept ??, Waltham 5k

So I'm taking July off because I may end up doing a lot of treadmill workouts (I'm not heat friendly), but am keeping myself on course with a few races dotted about. So we'll see. There's also a new workout plan I've started for 10k training that has the potential to carry over into half-marathon training. If I decide to go that route the long-run training would begin this fall (October-ish) when it's cooled down a bit. Watch this space.

Okay, off to doc's office for official diagnosis and, hopefully, meds. Running is so much easier when you're in balance!

Time is flying by and so am I...

So perhaps not flying by, but since the last time I blogged I've flown down 3.2 more pounds to 160.8lbs now. It's 0.8lb/wk average and I'm okay with it. Soon to bust through the 160lb mark into the 150s.

Even better than the weight loss is the real flying (or running). So far the 2010 race schedule includes:

Completed:
March 14, Somerville Ras 5k
April 11, Doyles 5 miler

Upcoming:
May 15, Marblehead Beach to Beach 5k
June 27, New Charles River Run 7.5 miler
July TBD
Aug, Alvin Sproul Samoset 10k
Sept 16, Somerville Mardis Gras 4.2 miler

Potential:
Sept, Tufts 10k for Women
Oct, Down + Dirty Duathalon and Trail Run

It's exciting to have a race schedule. I have lots of thoughts about this, but have to go to bed so I can teach (and run) tomorrow without collapsing. So this is it for now.

energy

that's what I'm trying to find- in the midst of too little sleep, menstruation, and work. I have a vacation next week (a staycation in reality) and I'm hoping to find my energy then.

Part of it is a logistics problem. For a while I was too busy at work to think about extra energy. It was work, home, dog walk, sleep, work...Pretty boring and very exhausting. Now October is over and my first two schools are done for teaching (only two more to go this semester-yay!). Now I'm transitioning into the winter of the year and trying to recapture my spring energy. Really, things go so much easier for me in the spring- exercise and weight loss. I have less issue with motivation. Right now, I want to hibernate and eat baked goods, but it's really having a toll on my psyche and, I think, my energy. Which, if you follow the pattern around: hibernate, baked goods, sugar crash, no energy, hibernate, baked goods, sugar crash, no energy... doesn't lead to anything positive. And, my Nike MiniMe is creaming at me to go for a run; it's been a week. But I have no motivation to do it. I know, I should just stop this typing and run my ass to the treadmill. It's not going to happen though. 1 homemade pumpkin chocolate chip muffin and a half-caf for breakfast and I'm toast. Stupid decision. And I agonized over it for at least 45minutes...

So, this post is supposed to get me mentally psyched up. There's a race on Dec 13th in Somerville. It's only a 5k, but it would be a good run to work towards. It's $30 though and I can't sign up for that until the next paycheck hits. So...until then, here's a few steps to get me going.

1. Get girlfriend on board. Done. As I was typing this step, Heather called to say she loves me. :) That's the best call ever. And, we talked about training together for Dec 13th. Girlfriend is officially on board!

2. Nike Running Coach. Logging on I have a pang of guilt. My last run was 10/27- over 10 days ago. No wonder my MiniMe is pitching a fit every time my screensaver logs on. Ok, time to sign on to A Coach J Intermediate 5K training program. START DATE: THURS NOV 12th!

3. Public Commitment. Does typing all of this count? I think I'm on board and now you know it!

Start as you mean to go on.

I was on a writing roll there for a few days, but unfortunately was sidetracked. Went to WW last week at lost 1.6lbs. Not too bad though I'd had a little up (1.4lbs over the 2 weeks prior). Still, this is a journey not a race.

I do have a race this weekend though- a 10k trail run in Lynn. Heather's going to run it with me. She was supposed to do a run-bike duathlon a the same location, but had a small incident with a razor this weekend resulting in stitches in her thumb. The doc said no biking for 10 days so the pressure of her hand on the handlebars doesn't rip out the stitches, but running is fine.

So after a slow start this morning (I slept in as am traveling to VT for work and apparently have "homework" for my conference tonight), I motivated myself to go for a 3 mile run. While I'd like to say the motivation came from race prep for this upcoming weekend- it didn't . Truthfully, my motivation was my Nike Run avatar (I call her mini-me). See I downloaded the Nike avatar screensaver to my laptop. It's a hoot. My little avatar pops up on the screen after a few minutes with one of two attitudes: "Yay I ran" or "Man I need to run". For the "Yay I ran" attitude she's jumping all around saying things like "This 3 mile run made me feel so good" or "I can conquer anything". But, when you're lazy for a couple of days out pops the "Man I need to run" 'tude. She sits around bemoaning life with comments like, "This lack of running is making me sluggish" or "I'd love to run, but my hands are tied".

And this little screensaver works for me. I want mini-me to be jumping around happy, excited, and proud of her exercise. So after waking up and playing with the dog, I clothed my ass in run gear and went out for a 3miler. It wasn't fast (10:40/mi avg pace) unlike my and Heather's Fri night 2 miler at a 9:48/mi avg pace. And today I was totally glad when I finished, but now sitting down to a hearty brunch (egg white, potatoes, and chikin patty- 5pts total!) I'm super pleased with myself.

And, the running gear is packed for (apparently) rainy VT, and I plan to sneak in 4-6miles over Tues and Weds, take Thurs off, run an easy 2 miler Fri, race the 6miler on Sat, and take Sun off. :)

So, onwards and upwards (at least in my mileage).

So we run...

and some days it's damned hard. Like today. That "easy 2 miler" I lightly quoted yesterday...yeah, it kicked my ass today. I managed no faster than a 10:53/mi pace (on my 4.25 miler I ran a 10:55/mil pace..with the extra miles added on).

Though I'm still running the distances I was earlier this summer, my pace has definitely suffered from my summer running vacation. I looked at my mileage on my Nike profile (find a link to it below) and realized that I ran only 2.9 miles for the entire month of August. Perhaps I'm making up for it by running two 10ks in October: the Down & Dirty 10k Trail Run (Oct 3rd by myself) and the Nike 10k Challenge (Oct 24th w/ Maureen). Now I'm on the lookout for November races to sign up for. I think it's keeps me moving better. Like today...

Nothing in my body wanted to run this morning. So I didn't. I laid in bed with a splitting headache and overslept. Nothing in my body wanted to run this afternoon. So I ran anyway. Why? Because this week I have to log a 1x4mi, 2x2mi, and 1x5mi runs (13 miles total). Why? Because I'm on a plan for the Oct 3rd race, in which I want to run well and not hurt myself. Also, I have to run more next week (1x4mi, 2 x 2mi, and 1x6mi runs - 14 miles total). And it increases from there. I'd like to get to 20mi/week on average, but am going to increase slowly, after the 10k/6mi, only by .5mi/week. I need no injuries!

Anyhow, I believe I may need to become a morning runner. This afternoon's run was hell. I hurt. It hurt. My mind wasn't in it and I was physically worn down from work stressors. I've been reading articles about when to run (Runners World, Running Times) and there's pluses and minuses to morning running. + It's done with. + You start the day focused on you. - More at risk of injury - I can't eat for an hour after waking due to my missing thyroid and replacement hormones = running on an empty stomach. Not good. I honestly think late morning would be best for me but who gets to go into work late that often? And, while I can mask a 2miler sweat, there's not hope for me after that. It's shower or bust, but my office is not equipped with a gym or shower facilities.

So, afternoon/evenings runs are supposedly the best for your body. You're physically geared up. But mentally? After a day at work I'm shot. Tired. No longer energized. Often feeling negative emotionally (read: mad, sad) or physically tired (read: been running around like crazy all day, or on my feet training) and it doesn't seem to translate well into a run.

I'm also into this idea of putting myself first: "get it on" style. There's something about fitting runs around my work schedule that gives work precedence. But I don't want work to be the defining piece of my life (though I do need to pay the bills).

So what to do? Well, at least I'm writing down the runs I want to do in my calendar, so I'm aware of them. I'm trying to x-out my "me time" in my calendar so that the runs have a place to live in my day-to-day.

And perhaps signing up for more races will help keep it at the forefront. Any one running a fun race in November?