Decisions

I was supposed to go to NH today.

Well, technically I was supposed to go to RI today.

Our nephew is playing lacrosse this weekend. My wife thought he was playing at home in RI (45 mins away from Boston) at 4pm today. In reality, he was playing away in NH (2 hours away form Boston) at 2pm today. A calendar snafu that led to changed plans today.

I spent half the night awake with a pooping dog (Bryce has diarrhea again). Deprived of sleep and feeling cranky, I realized that I had no desire to make a 4-hour round trip for a 90minute lacrosse game. [Especially as last week we did a 24-hour turnaround to Long Island and back and next weekend we are considering a trip to Maine, and then I leave for Georgia to take care of Dad]

So I made a decision to stay at home. But then, I balked and started to panic. "but Heather told Luc we were coming." "It's more important to see his game." "I just need to keep moving and get over myself." I almost talked myself out of it- putting guilt and family above my self.

And then I realized- I truly don't have to do this. I can stay at home and honor myself. That my first instinct toward self care is not wrong and not going doesn't make me "less of" an aunt.

So I've stayed at home this afternoon and it's been fantastic. By this point, Heather and Hannah are over halfway through watching the game. In the time they've driven up there and been watching, I've played with Bryce, done two loads of laundry, taken a 35 minute jog, played more with the dog, listened to "Wait. Wait. Don't tell me," and eaten lunch. And now I'm blogging. Next, I'm going to bake cheese scones and then watch a little television.

On a side note, this week I've been exercising more regularly and loving it. I've been holding off for the past few weeks because I've read that hard exercise irritates your gastric system. As I'm struggling with stomach pain and reflux (now going on for nearly a month) and am waiting for more testing and diagnosis, I realized that it can't get much worse. I feel like crap. I'm achey. I can't eat or drink the things I like. And I'm tired. Why the hell not exercise.

And every time I have exercised [Two runs, a good walk, and aerobics so far this week; indoor biking tomorrow and kickboxing on Monday] I've felt amazing afterwards. It's been a little hairy at the beginning of each session, my stomach gurgling and protesting until I hit my happy zone (my version of the runner's high) when everything becomes focused on how my legs are moving and my heart is pumping and my muscles are contracting. At that point, everything breaks and my tummy pain recedes. And, even better, so far this week exercise has had lasting effects for a few hours. And that, dear readers, is the best medicine I could ask for. Pain relief AND satisfaction with my efforts. Awesome.

So, now I've 2 hours (at least) before they get home and I'm going to bake and sing before resting. All told, I'm relaxing and rejuvenating.

Here's to you doing the same.

Knees, chiropractors, car crashes and cupcakes

What a lot to catch up on.

I'm glad I ran today. I made it to 4.6 miles, which is a blessing as over the past couple of months I've been experiencing crippling knee pain when running. And, thanks to my wonderful chiropractor, I may have a solution: shoes.

Now, I was fitted for my running shoes at a reputed running store here in Boston. They fit lovely at first try, but after 3 weeks of foot-time I was concerned that they weren't as comfy as my last pair. Too late to return them I plodded along from mid-April through mid-May blaming achy legs and numb feet on my badly out-of-alignment back. And, with a wedding our wedding in May my mileage decreased anyway (and I had about 3 weeks off).

So forward to mid-June. Wedding over. Honeymoon over. And I'm 7lbs heavier and back on the pavement. I've started going to a chiropractor to correct my back and the arm numbness and dizziness I've been experiencing progressively since Jan 2010 is disappearing. The aches in my back are lessening. The knots are releasing. And my knee is killing me. My right knee.

As my back is getting fixed and my hips are aligned I find that I can't run without intense knee pain past 1.5miles. Not great at all. So I switch to a run-walk combination thinking that my newly even hips are affecting my gait and I just need to ease into it. No matter if I'm walking or running it's painful after 1.5miles. And, though each visit I leave the chiropractor with flying colors on my strength test (left and right sides) when I return after a few days off I'm still consistently failing my strength tests on my right leg despite the lessened back pain/new equilibrium.

And then my chiropractor asks me to bring in my shoes. My new shoes that are only 3 months old and have seen only 9 weeks of running or so. No more than 130 miles. We talk about my issues and my chiropractor adjusts my back. We run strength tests on both legs. Passed with flying colors. He asks me to put on my work sandals and walk back and forth across the waiting room floor. We do strength tests. I pass with flying colors again. He asks me to put on my running shoes and walk back and forth across the waiting room floor (once). We do strength tests and he watches my gait. I fail all the right leg strength tests. I feel like crying.

And so he looks at my shoes. First, he points out that the right one looks like the heel is sloping in toward the left shoe. Next, he tests their shocks by tapping on the back of the heel. The left shoes bounces slightly back/forth in response. The right jumps around back/forth and left/right. Aha. He says. Structural issues with the shoe.

So I go back to said well reputed running store to be fitted again because I trust their fittings. One bum pair of shoes does not turn me off from being a customer. I'm fitted and tell my story as I'm there. I get 15% off the new shoes (nice!).

So, I'm now 2 weeks and 4 runs into the new pair. The first two runs were a little shaky as I got used to the new fit and lacing. My left knee and right knee both hurt a little after the first 2 runs, but eased after icing. Although after run 2 I did feel significant pain the next day. These last two runs (yesterday- 2.3miles and today- 4.6miles) were golden. No pain. None at all. I've proactively iced the right knee just in case. But no ibuprofen has been necessary. No wincing has occurred. It feels like a miracle. I've not run over 4miles since May (the Charles River 7.5miler was cancelled; and I didn't attend the 5k but ran on the treadmill instead). This gives me hope for the Sproul 10k in August.

So, was it the shoes? I'm thinking so and am hoping today signals future success and pain-free running. Watch this space for updates.

With Knees and chiropractors down, time to touch on the car crashes and cupcakes.

This short of it is that I was in a wreck this afternoon. My car suffered significant front end damage so now is at the body shop in JP and I am car-less. Thankfully we're headed down Cape for a few days and I have rental coverage for work next week if necessary. But really? My car.... it's my work lifeline.

Part of me wants it to be totaled so I can get that dog-accessible vehicle our household needs. The other part of me hopes that its fixable and all covered so I don't have to find down payment monies. So crossed fingers.

I'm typing glibly about the whole affair now; mainly because it's been a couple of hours and the claims process has started. But also because I made the conscious decision to self-soothe with a Sugar cupcake and a glass of red wine. It's likely bad to self-soothe with food and alcohol, but I was definitely not up for another run and too shaky for my bike. So I opted for food and Facebook (uploading wedding photos) and am feeling pulled together enough to pack for our trip.

I'll dive into the ramifications of food-soothing on another post I'm sure. For now, I don't want to go too deep with it, but note that it is an effective coping method under significant distress. At least for me. And by Friday I'll be back to running with my non-gimpy knee!