Catching up.

Phew. How time has flown by although it feels like life went on hold for a little while there. Though I'm sure that's because my head, heart, and hands were held hostage by my (now) wife and my wedding.

The wedding was lovely and after we scurried away to Paris for 10 days before returning to a long weekend in Maine. I'm now (technically) back at work (I'm out ill with an ear infection today and awaiting doctor care) and trying to find an even keel.

Health and wellness went out the window before the wedding. Apart from completing the Marblehead 5k and the occasional run, I was focused only on not gaining more than a pound or two so I could fit in the dress! These women who lose weight before their weddings naturally are an enigma to me. Under stress I eat and drink; no weight lost for me unless under the duress of Weight Watchers.

My WW membership also expired before I went out of town so I have to sign up again. I thought about not doing so and taking the summer off, but after my last 3 days at home I'm convinced that I have a wee bit of a sugar addiction that needs corralling. Subtext: my eating habits are veering on out-of-control and I don't have the willpower to go it alone. So I'm re-upping the membership next Monday night and will be back on the train (I think a good 8lbs heavier than from my last post thanks to wedding cake and Paris). But, as I've mentioned on this site a few times now, this is a process for me. I didn't become overweight overnight and I'm damn sure that I wouldn't be happy with a life in which wedding cake and treats were banned completely. I just need some structure.

It's funny how bulimia continues to rear it's ugly head for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bingeing or purging in the way of my past-self or active bulimia. But, the inability to listen to my body and respond appropriately to hunger or stress or boredome is an eerily familiar situation. My ear is sore, so I ate cake today. I was stressed on Monday, so I had chocolate. I was tired and hungry due to missing a proper dinner last night, so I ate cheese and ice-cream. Not the best choices, but at least I'm identifying that there's a potential problem there. And I'm not too ashamed to admit it and ask for help. Thank you WW and wifey for that.

It's not been all bad. I've been eating blanaced breakfasts and lunches. I've found I love lowfat Greek yoghurt thanks to a Parisian brunch we enjoyed. And, it's rasberry season so I'm ready to enjoy lots of sweet fruit + tangy yoghurt treats.

I did lift on Monday and ran today. My mini-Me practically jumped off my screen when recording my mileage; it's been so long she was perfecting paddleball. It was slow going after 3 weeks off, but I'm starting at least. (Though the 7.5 miler is next Sunday and I may have to run-walk it, which is disappointing). Talking about races, here's where it stands now:

Completed:
March 14, Somerville Ras 5k
April 11, Doyles 5 miler
May 15, Marblehead Beach to Beach 5k: I broke the 10min/mile record with a 9:54 avg pace!!!

Upcoming:
June 27, New Charles River Run 7.5 miler
Aug 15, Alvin Sproul Samoset 10k
Sept 16, Somerville Mardis Gras 4.2miler
Sept ??, Waltham 5k

So I'm taking July off because I may end up doing a lot of treadmill workouts (I'm not heat friendly), but am keeping myself on course with a few races dotted about. So we'll see. There's also a new workout plan I've started for 10k training that has the potential to carry over into half-marathon training. If I decide to go that route the long-run training would begin this fall (October-ish) when it's cooled down a bit. Watch this space.

Okay, off to doc's office for official diagnosis and, hopefully, meds. Running is so much easier when you're in balance!

Time is flying by and so am I...

So perhaps not flying by, but since the last time I blogged I've flown down 3.2 more pounds to 160.8lbs now. It's 0.8lb/wk average and I'm okay with it. Soon to bust through the 160lb mark into the 150s.

Even better than the weight loss is the real flying (or running). So far the 2010 race schedule includes:

Completed:
March 14, Somerville Ras 5k
April 11, Doyles 5 miler

Upcoming:
May 15, Marblehead Beach to Beach 5k
June 27, New Charles River Run 7.5 miler
July TBD
Aug, Alvin Sproul Samoset 10k
Sept 16, Somerville Mardis Gras 4.2 miler

Potential:
Sept, Tufts 10k for Women
Oct, Down + Dirty Duathalon and Trail Run

It's exciting to have a race schedule. I have lots of thoughts about this, but have to go to bed so I can teach (and run) tomorrow without collapsing. So this is it for now.

Recipe yumminess

Just made WW Roasted Tomato Enchiladas for dinner. They're in the oven and smell absolutely fantastic!

Imagine, tofu, black beans and roasted corn (my addition) wrapped up inside whole wheat tortillas and topped with a chunky green chile-tomato sauce. Oh Mexi-veggie yumminess.

Let's hope they taste as good as they smell!!!

I call it compromise

I've just spent about 30mins trawling around the Weight Watchers website message boards. It's interesting to read so many comments from folks who are trying to figure out what they "can" or "should" eat.

I too have those days when I'm thinking in should and shouldn'ts. I should save money and cook at home. I shouldn't get take-out. I should wait to save my points for a weekend splurge. I shouldn't splurge at all. Should. Shouldn't Carrots. Chocolate.

I think it's about compromise. I've recently experienced the most wacky food exchanges. My temporary distaste for eggs led me to eat whole-wheat tortillas with fat-free re-fried beans and Trader Joe's peach salsa for breakfast. And, I've loved it. Those tortillas keep my full and give me energy.

This afternoon, hungry 45minutes after a low-cal toast snack, I heated a serving of Trader Joe's meatless meatballs with a little tomato sauce and 1/2oz bread for "mopping up". Perfect. I'm happy, full, and not stressed about lasting until dinner in 90 minutes. As a "snack" it's a weird choice, but great choice.

Some days I need to snack and so reach for Smart pop 1pt kettlecorn popcorn and 1oz chocolate chips. Tonight, in celebration of the good weather, Heather and I will treat ourselves to ice-cream from JPLicks. I'm already looking forward to my sugar-free fat-free soft serve with St. Paddy's Day green sprinkles. Yum! 2pts of happy (like WW ice cream treats but on a cone and green!)

I call it compromise. I'm going to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine on Friday night with friends and take-out on Saturday night. To prepare, I'll watch my points all other days and option for high protein, high fiber foods.

I took Mon and today as "rest days" because after a 5am wake-up and 7-hours of teaching high schoolers about dating violence, I'm wiped. So I ran yesterday and I'll run tomorrow and Sunday. Friday, I'll WATP and lift. I'll hike on Saturday. I'll also lift on Sunday.

It's got to be a balance. And not of "good" and "bad" or "should" and "shouldn't" but just of give and take. Compromise.

Lessons in self-love

Well, I'm officially bustin' though it; 1.6lbs off this week. That's 32lbs total since Jan 2009, 84.6total since Jan 2005. I have officially lost a small child's worth of weight. How big do 5th + 6th graders get these days? I think I've lost me a 6th grader.

Before I get into the self-love, me-me-me land babble, let me say Yum! I'm dessert-ing on a WW Chocolate Fudge Brownie premium ice cream cup. 2pts of pure heaven. I don't know what chemicals they use to get this stuff to taste so good and, really, I don't care. It's fantastic. If you're ever PMS-ing for something sweet and are on WW, pick up a pack (or two) of this ice-cream (there's also chocolate chip cookie dough and mint chip to enjoy).

So, back to self-lovin'. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I gave myself a praise-talk on the way home in the car from WW tonight. To clarify, I missed my regular Monday meeting so picked up a Tuesday closer to work, and I met my Leader, Arlene's, leader, Sherry. Fancy that. I still love Arlene- she's brilliant. But, Sherry is simply lovely. So it's 6:15pm and I'm stuck in traffic and realising that I've lost a small child and that while it's taken over 4 years (and I'm still going), I am a WW rockstar. Really. I started this program first as a child. I continued as a teen. And then as a young adult. And this is the first damn time, these past 4 years, that I've done it right. It's not a race. It's a journey. It's about enjoying life and myself and, while I do get stressed about the journey at times (especially the weigh-ins), I am making WW about me for the first time.

See, it's always been about the food. How much I could eat of it. How much I could get away with. Or hide. Or how restricted I was from it. Or how hard I was working for it. But, it's about more than that now. It is definitely about food; portion control, healthy choices, nutrition. But, when I dig down deep now, it's not just about the food and my (in)ability to control it. It's about me. It's about running. And hiking. And eating chocolate (or WW chocolate ice cream cups!). It's about enjoying a glass of wine as much as I enjoy walking my dog. Not more than. It's about challenging myself to test fitness limits. It's about getting a runner's high (yes, it's happening!). It's about being honest with myself. It's about looking in the mirror on "fat days" and reminding myself that I'm beautiful. It's about learning to love these stretch marks. And curves. And muscles. And bumps. It's about balancing my work life out with writing. It's about leaving the office at lunch for a run. It's about saying no to those things that take away from me. It's saying yes to me.

Yes. To. Me.

And because I'm finally learning this, I spent 2 minutes taping myself on my Blackberry voice notes recorder. No. Not crazy. Because I know that there are hard days. That there are depressed days. That there are second-guess myself days. That at some point I'll forget how far I've come for a moment, or hour, and that I might need reminded. And, I know that while praise form family and friends lifts me up and sustains me, I have to be the loudest voice praising myself. So I taped myself and labeled the note "I rock". So when I'm having that bad day I'll be able to hear myself, saying to myself, "You are f'ing amazing. I am so proud of you. I am proud of me."

And that, my friends, is the biggest gift I've given myself (apart from losing that 6th grader) for a long, long time.

Time to unwind from work

Yup, just finished working. This week is going to be the death of me. And while I need to go to bed terribly, I want to share my WW success because I'm damn proud of myself.

This week I earned 24 activity points, comprised of 3 runs, 1- 2hour hike, and a WATP workout with weights.

I distributed points differently this week; eating over my points every day by adding 3-7 weekly points. It was a hungry week. I also ate 2 of my earned activity points.

And....drumroll please...I lost 3.2lbs at weigh-in. Hell yeah!!! While I may not make my original goal by the wedding, I still weigh less that when I bought my wedding dress last year so no worries about it fitting.

So bring on this week. I've already worked one 12.5hour day and there's at least 2 more 10+ hour days to follow, plus a weekend half-day. Ick. I'm gonna be toast my Saturday night. But, am still going to try to get in the workouts as I know they make me feel better.

So, now off to bed. Have a 6:30am run to do!

Woot!

I'm back... or rather my Nike running account + mini is! Thank you Ashley for hooking me up with a new sensor. It's confirmed- I love graphing my runs :) Nerd, nerd nerd....