Thanks for Nov 5th + 6th

Nov 5th: I am truly thankful for my wife Heather.   While we've been together only 4 1/2 years, she's loved me through sickness and health already. I am thankful for her patience and playfulness, for the little things (like the tea or coffee she brings me every morning), and the experiences we  share. I am thankful that she had finds me attractive despite my pants size (has loved me 20lbs heavier and 10lbs lighter than I am today). I am glad to have found a best friend a well as a partner, cheerleader, coach and companion. I love you H.

Nov 6th: I am thankful for the community of family, family friends, friends and colleagues who support my wife and I in our relationship. Your recognition and celebration of our marriage, which we are able to enjoy as residents of a state that recognizes gay marriage, means so much to me. Thank you for your  active presence in our lives.

Friday is a friend-filled day

I am thankful for my friends. Those I see twice a year, those who live in our neighborhoods, and those my wife and I get to visit when passing through or on destination (e.g. winter wonderland) weekends.

My dear friends know my fears and histories, joys and challenges. I hold each of their gifts and stories and the memories we have together dear. They carry me through.

To all my friends, and especially to my besties (Em, Deb, Sheila and Kim) thank you. I love you all.

Thanks: Day 3

Nov 3: I am thankful for my brother- who has always been my best friend (even through rough years). Thank you for being my active ear and silent shoulder, for teaching me new skills and old lessons. Thank you for driving my car to Boston and for driving me to and from the airport. Thank you for sharing stories over cold beers and for avoiding the topics we know turn into arguments. Thank you for being a brother every  sister would be lucky to have and for fostering a relationship any sibling would benefit from. I love you.

Thankfulness

On a blog that I've recently started following, the author is taking on 30 days of expressing her thankfulness in this month of November and Thanksgiving.

This year has been a ride, and I admit that I've not been as thankful as I should have been to the Universe for all of the people, experiences, places, things and beings that surround me and fill my life.

And, just as I need to focus more care on my Self, I also need to focus more energy to acknowledging and appreciating all of those blessings around me.

So, here are my first two posts for Nov 1st and 2nd.

1. I am thankful for my mother. For having me and raising me. For becoming my friend. For sharing cups of tea with me across kitchen tables. For fixing my kitchen table and building me side tables. For taking her time (and often time off work) to build our relationship. For trusting me to support her and challenge her. I love you mum.

2. I am thankful for my father. For raising me and teaching me. For letting me (still) curl up next to him when I need to. For showing me patience. For pushing me to push myself. For becoming my friend. For taking me on daddy-dates and teaching me (over and over again) how to golf. I love you dad.

Waiting rooms

I've gotten comfortable being in waiting rooms over the past few years. Granted, it was a rocky start in 2007 as I anxiously awaited testing and diagnosis of thyroid cancer. Since that time I visit the clinical center at least twice a year for ultrasounds (soon to decrease in frequency) and twice a year to visit my endocrinologist. I see my PCP for preventive care once yearly. And, because of the stomach and sinus problems I've been in urgent care and/or specialist offices at least 2-3 times annually.

It's been a ride over past few years, but I've been lucky to have access to insurance, a good care team, and family/friends who are supportive. I've changed a lot of my habits to live healthier and I'm mindful of changes in my body.

Waiting rooms remind me that I'm lucky. While I'm waiting, I watch folks who are arriving-unsure-and my heart goes out to them. I hope they leave radiology today with less to worry about.

As for me, today l'll thank Mike (the radiologist) for taking care of me and sending me home just as calmly as I arrived.

Ease and errands

Today I'm taking a flex day off work for ease and errands. For errands, I've already had a medical appointment, picked up meds for my puppy and visited the chiropractor. For ease, I've enjoyed a leisurely breakfast treat at City Feed and am headed downtown to H&M and DSM for a little shopping fun. Then I'll head to the dentist before enjoying a leisurely walk and soccer ball time with my pup. 

Tonight the wife and I are planning to clean up the house (it currently looks like a tornado hit it) and share a favorite meal of vietnamese tofu lettuce wraps

It's a balanced day- not completely self indulgent but a good start to a weekend of "want tos" and "to dos". On the list: hiking with Bryce, running, vegan fare before jazz and drinks, prospect research,  professional development, baking and gardening. A lot to pack into 2 days but a good blend of activities. Ease and errands...

Historical perspective

It's not an infrequent happening that I find myself feeling stuck in the immobility of the moment. I've been on my current WW journey for over 6.5 years now and while most days I'm glad to be journeying slowly, I find myself wrestling with the same old feelings and thoughts. "You're fat." "You'll never be pretty." "Why bother?" "You run?! What a laugh." "Nothing fits right." "This is hopeless." There are thousands of critical snippets I could list.

In the midst of these thoughts, I try to remember who I once was and celebrate who I now am. And, recently, I found a few photographic reminders to buoy me up. When I was reaching my heaviest I avoided the camera as much as I avoided the mirror. If I couldn't see the problem, I didn't need to admit that it existed.

Well, the four photos included below are a testament to my once-upon-a-time-big-lass. Two were taken around August 2004, I had shorter hair at that point. The other two are taken less than a month before I joined WW in January 2005. I've mentioned this before but for those new to my journey, when I joined WW at that time I was 248.6lbs- a truly big lass.



The photos are grainy as I could only find printed versions that I've scanned and cropped, but the perspective they give is crystal clear. That was then. Bigger. Slower. Unhealthier. This is now. Healthier. Lighter. Fitter. And, most importantly, happier.

Today, I'm over 75lbs lighter than I was then. I'm hoping to reach my goal and to be 95lbs lighter by my thirtieth birthday in April 2013. And, now that this post is here complete with pictures, I've got a few solid reminders that while I may feel immobile in the moment, over time I'm making a significant change.